It is 10:24 p.m. on a Friday night. The
house is quite, the red light on the coffee pot is on, which means
the coffee is made and prepped to brew at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning,
Jobie is in and sleeping soundly in her kennel, Jared is in Canada
playing at a worship conference. I should be in bed… a-sleep… but
there is an ache in my heart tonight. I just want to sit here and
stare at my computer screen. Stare at this beautiful little boy…
this little boy that I can’t wait to hold in my arms and snuggle
and say “your mommy is right here.” Tonight I rocked Lyla, I
combed my fingers through her soft little curls, then Francie… I
told her this ridiculous story about a yellow bird with one white
feather named Bizzy, and then gave the boys foot and leg rubs with
lotion. I tucked them all in and then walked out of their rooms with
this longing in my heart to walk across to John Diego’s room. I
stood in the doorway and dreamed of seeing his sweet little face in
his cozy bed. I longed to just kiss his little cheeks. This is the
craziest feeling I have ever had. Adoption is such a beautiful
miracle. There is this love in my heart that I never thought was
possible. There is this pain in my heart that will be there until the
day we go to Haiti and bring him home. I think of John Diego’s
birth mother tonight and I wonder if this pain is in her heart too. I
pray for her and think about what it was like to bring him to the
orphanage. I honor her…this woman that I don’t even know but hope
to someday meet.
Ah, I miss my little boy tonight. I can’t stand it that he is
2000+ miles away, sleeping in a little metal crib without a blanket…
he went to sleep one more night without his mommy and daddy tucking
him in. I often think about the fact that he doesn’t even know he
has a family praying for him and waiting for him… but he does.
I love you my sweet boy and we are doing everything we humanly can
to provide all that is necessary to get you home. Sleep tight.
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